Facebook Groups I Would Like to Invent...

Join The Group: Guess what? Millions of women have been pregnant before you. Yes, it's an event. But it's really only a big deal to you and about 4 other people (or 8 or 16 if you have one of those massively divorced families).

or you could sign on for...

Is she an elephant? Because it seems like her gestation has been that long. (A sub group of : Announcing your pregnancy the day after conception)

Become a Fan of: I don't want to see your naked pregnant belly every week. Or ever. Is nothing sacred anymore? Save it for the man who inflicted you.

(Is there a theme here? Yes, friends there is. I am letting off some steam in the semi-privacy of my blog as to not offend or be branded the Pregnancy Ruiner.) This girl is just a smidge weary of cervical effacement, mucous plugs, morning sickness and public display of your pee sticks.

Become a Fan of: Kindly stop threatening me with being the 97% who won't post that:

They believe in God.

They support the Troops.

They want a cure for autism.

Someone died of cancer.

Rest assured, I am still upright after every email I deleted that swore I would be struck dead if I failed to forward it to another ten innocent victims. Most likely I will be here until said God decides it's my time to leave. I love my country and support my troops. Autism is a crushing horrible disease. I have loved many who have died of cancer. Saying it here hasn't changed a thing. Neither will posting it on Facebook. The End.

I hereby also refrain from playing games that include posting my bra color. How exactly did that "help" breast cancer awareness? Do a self exam, have a mammogram. Do something but for God sake do not make Facebook responsible for your breast health.

Biiiiggggg Breaaattthhh. There now, that's better. I feel somewhat lighter in the lobe now.