Travis and Leigh - October, 2009 Homecoming
When I was young I used to read that phrase "her heart was heavy" in books. I always thought it was strange. "How can a heart get fat?" I thought.
Well, with age brings knowledge. My heart is so heavy it hurts, which I made the mistake of announcing at work. My 2 nurse buddies jumped up, one heading for the EKG machine and the other grabbing my arm. Note to self: this is not a proper phrase to use in the ER.
My son has a dear friend. Her name is Leigh and I spend most of my time explaining how they are inseparable but do not date. They have been friends since they were five. Leigh is a ray of sunshine, happy, beautiful, smart and athletic. She is Trav's link to coolness at school, and the person that backs me up when I am ranting about what he should wear and how he should act. I adore Leigh, which speaks volumes. I don't adore many other people's kids besides my own.
Leigh's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. She lost her fight Sunday. She was forty years old. Leigh and her Dad were at her side. My heart weighs a ton.
How is this beautiful girl going to make her way through life without her mom? Who helps with weddings, proms, first job interview? Leigh is not the first girl who asks these questions, the ones I cannot give a satisfying answer to. Of course I will be there for her, I will help her, I will hold her. She has always called me Mom but I am not the Mom she aches for. My heart weighs two tons.
Travis marvels at her strength. She got up the next morning and went to school, braving the typical teenage "Leigh is my best friend I can't believe her mom died" crap that will wane with time. I told Travis to stand back, that when the smoke clears, he will be the one she needs. He spent many nights over at her house when her dad was working and her mom was in the hospital. Yeah, I know, I have heard the "are you nuts, letting two teenagers spend the night". I can't help but to trust them. I believe in them. And in my heart I know they won't let me down. My son has grown through this as well.
Yesterday Leigh came over after school. She said, "Hi Mom, I just wanted to come in and hug you". I hugged her fiercely. Told her I loved her, that we all love her and we will always be here for her. I held it together until she left, when I broke and sobbed some really angry tears. I cried for Moms everywhere who have to leave their children behind. It was my son that hugged me, kissed my head and told me "It is going to be OK, Mom, she is really strong, she'll make it". My heart lightened up. A little. Life will continue. Leigh asked me to help her pick out shoes for homecoming. She chose her dress early, and got her Mom's approval. She asked me to do her hair and makeup and when I am done she will be a knockout. As you can see from the picture I added, she was.
Nancy, you rest now. I love your daughter and I will do my best to keep her the strong, beautiful woman you created. I'll help Leigh down here, and you shine down on her from above. Together we'll get her there.
When I was young I used to read that phrase "her heart was heavy" in books. I always thought it was strange. "How can a heart get fat?" I thought.
Well, with age brings knowledge. My heart is so heavy it hurts, which I made the mistake of announcing at work. My 2 nurse buddies jumped up, one heading for the EKG machine and the other grabbing my arm. Note to self: this is not a proper phrase to use in the ER.
My son has a dear friend. Her name is Leigh and I spend most of my time explaining how they are inseparable but do not date. They have been friends since they were five. Leigh is a ray of sunshine, happy, beautiful, smart and athletic. She is Trav's link to coolness at school, and the person that backs me up when I am ranting about what he should wear and how he should act. I adore Leigh, which speaks volumes. I don't adore many other people's kids besides my own.
Leigh's mom was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. She lost her fight Sunday. She was forty years old. Leigh and her Dad were at her side. My heart weighs a ton.
How is this beautiful girl going to make her way through life without her mom? Who helps with weddings, proms, first job interview? Leigh is not the first girl who asks these questions, the ones I cannot give a satisfying answer to. Of course I will be there for her, I will help her, I will hold her. She has always called me Mom but I am not the Mom she aches for. My heart weighs two tons.
Travis marvels at her strength. She got up the next morning and went to school, braving the typical teenage "Leigh is my best friend I can't believe her mom died" crap that will wane with time. I told Travis to stand back, that when the smoke clears, he will be the one she needs. He spent many nights over at her house when her dad was working and her mom was in the hospital. Yeah, I know, I have heard the "are you nuts, letting two teenagers spend the night". I can't help but to trust them. I believe in them. And in my heart I know they won't let me down. My son has grown through this as well.
Yesterday Leigh came over after school. She said, "Hi Mom, I just wanted to come in and hug you". I hugged her fiercely. Told her I loved her, that we all love her and we will always be here for her. I held it together until she left, when I broke and sobbed some really angry tears. I cried for Moms everywhere who have to leave their children behind. It was my son that hugged me, kissed my head and told me "It is going to be OK, Mom, she is really strong, she'll make it". My heart lightened up. A little. Life will continue. Leigh asked me to help her pick out shoes for homecoming. She chose her dress early, and got her Mom's approval. She asked me to do her hair and makeup and when I am done she will be a knockout. As you can see from the picture I added, she was.
Nancy, you rest now. I love your daughter and I will do my best to keep her the strong, beautiful woman you created. I'll help Leigh down here, and you shine down on her from above. Together we'll get her there.
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